I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the stuggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.
Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.
SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole.
I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.
This is never not funny
“what if the aborted baby could have cured cancer???”
oh my god what if the last egg I bled onto a kotex product could have cured cancer??
oh my god how am I not birthing every possible egg I produce, lest one of those resulting babies be the person who cures cancer/AIDS/creates world peace????
what if that baby could have been a musical artist described by pitchfork as “liberace with a metalcore twist”????
how dare i not be pregnant/birthing all the time always?????